An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.

The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of “Executives” was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.

After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that “too many people were steering and not enough rowing.” To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to “4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager” and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. “We must give him empowerment and enrichment.” That ought to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.

The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am. How did you know?”

“Everything you told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must be in management.”

“I am. But how did you know?”

“You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

Tom Stern is the creator of CEODad.com, a comic strip that too many of can understand. 

The main character, Frank Pitts, is the President and CEO of Pitt Packaging International, and also a father of two.  He enjoys running his family life just like a business.

Does your father sound like Frank?  Or are you Frank? 

The humor is witty, and the ideas are creative, and the style is fresh.  Most working fathers can relate to Frank as he tries to raise his kids to be responsible and successful while at the same time managing work.

Tom Stern has recently come out with a book CEO Dad: How to Avoid Getting Fired by Your Family that is very funny to read.

For a good laugh, and a great comic check out CEODad.com

You can also visit his MySpace page at Frank Pitt

“If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter.”

-Albert Grant.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.